Hello once again, or, hello to you,
I am pleased and honored that I have had more readers than I ever anticipated. I was (am) trying to convey thoughts that I have found floating through my mind while conscious or semi-conscious.
I am mostly bored with my present situation. I am between jobs, and have recently found out that my past has caught up with me. I have applied for a position with the municipal government and found that a simple misdemeanor has caused me to be disqualified.
How is that for irony? I was a low life gutter snipe and did many things that I am not proud of, and mostly ashamed of. But a simple arrest for a misdemeanor when I got clean and sober will hold me back. It goes to show me that what goes around comes around.
I am very well aware that I have caused many people hurt emotionally, financially, and physically. In my day, we ran in gangs and ran the way we wanted to. We knew the price to pay, and paid it when due. Some, like myself, were lucky to have family connections to keep us out of jail. But it seems that only added fuel to the fire, that I am unstoppable. Even have died twice did not make me change. (And by the way, there is a hereafter. The spirit lives on after the body had stopped breathing).
I find the boredom has led me to return to old ways of behaviour. I began to have a drink of the finer Single Barrel which I never had before, and later to light a joint up. That led to hash and making brownies. Regular consumption, for me, was to blow at least a joint in the afternoon and evening, and late evening, and early morning.
I love smoking reefer. It is the madness, I tell you.
I am not proud to say that I then had to have a taste of the dirty devil and its sister. All the while I was making pain medication runs to doctors and pharmacies.
I am now cut off from the doctors and am keeping my distance from the dirty dealers.
I am not saying that I would not like to try it again, but I must use my head and think of what my obligations are. If the boredom has taken hold of me, then I need to add something into my life. I guess by now you know I am not a 20+, 30+, youngster. If I was able to control my behaviour, I would not have a problem. But that is what all the addiction is about.
I am hoping that by posting this I will show the other side of the life. I cannot say I did not have fun in the 60's and 70's partying in clubs, discos, and crash pads. But I cannot recapture that time again. If I could, I am probably not able to keep up with it.
Again, thank you for your viewing. Please feel free to leave comments and remarks.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Monday, July 8, 2013
Thoughts in Writing 8
Hey have I got an idea for us!
Instead of trying to make marijuana legal, why not revert to the 18th amendment and prohibit alcoholic beverages!
After all, there are extensive studies and facts which bear out that alcohol kills!
While we know that many individuals are incarcerated for simple possession of marijuana, how many have been jailed for possessing alcohol?
Alcohol is really a gateway drug if you think about it. Are you or others going to dispute the fact that alcohol has been classified as a drug when used for other than medicinal purposes?
When I was young, I was introduced to alcohol. It became my desire for many years to come. Eventually, I fell into bad company and then began to use marijuana. But marijuana did not make me steal cases of beer where I worked. It only was available when I was able to score a nickel bag.
The environmental factors do come into factor when I look into my past. But It was my choice. I ran with a bad bunch of people as far as drug use is concerned. Each of those, given proper emotional help, could have stabilized and made a diiference. The drugs just made the hurt go away for a while.
And with alcohol. Don't just as many people try to escape from their lives with a drink or a drunk?
Alcohol causes much time lost in work as far as losing days and also productivity. Having a person who has a drinking problem on the payroll is contradictive to performance. But! Do you send the person to rehabilitation? Or do you fire him/her?
Sending the person to rehab may help the first time, but if not, then you have a chronic alcoholic on the payroll. As far as I am concerned, God bless those employers who believe in second chances.
What happens when you fire a person who is a drunk or nicely put an alcoholic? You lose a productive person in society. Of course the person was fired for not being productive. But was that employee always that way? Can the rehab make that person whole again?
So now to marijuana. Are we doing our society a favor by incarcerating possessors of pot? We create a burden on our tax base, and the only people who profit are the private penal systems that take over the burdem of jailing our prisoners. Less clients, as they were, means less income. After lobbying for the position of holding prisioners for a fee instead of the state, the private penal system would be losing money. And who are the stockholders?
So to conclude, Make alcohol illegal! Ban booze! Call for a referendum and have alcohol prohibited in all 50 states!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Instead of trying to make marijuana legal, why not revert to the 18th amendment and prohibit alcoholic beverages!
After all, there are extensive studies and facts which bear out that alcohol kills!
While we know that many individuals are incarcerated for simple possession of marijuana, how many have been jailed for possessing alcohol?
Alcohol is really a gateway drug if you think about it. Are you or others going to dispute the fact that alcohol has been classified as a drug when used for other than medicinal purposes?
When I was young, I was introduced to alcohol. It became my desire for many years to come. Eventually, I fell into bad company and then began to use marijuana. But marijuana did not make me steal cases of beer where I worked. It only was available when I was able to score a nickel bag.
The environmental factors do come into factor when I look into my past. But It was my choice. I ran with a bad bunch of people as far as drug use is concerned. Each of those, given proper emotional help, could have stabilized and made a diiference. The drugs just made the hurt go away for a while.
And with alcohol. Don't just as many people try to escape from their lives with a drink or a drunk?
Alcohol causes much time lost in work as far as losing days and also productivity. Having a person who has a drinking problem on the payroll is contradictive to performance. But! Do you send the person to rehabilitation? Or do you fire him/her?
Sending the person to rehab may help the first time, but if not, then you have a chronic alcoholic on the payroll. As far as I am concerned, God bless those employers who believe in second chances.
What happens when you fire a person who is a drunk or nicely put an alcoholic? You lose a productive person in society. Of course the person was fired for not being productive. But was that employee always that way? Can the rehab make that person whole again?
So now to marijuana. Are we doing our society a favor by incarcerating possessors of pot? We create a burden on our tax base, and the only people who profit are the private penal systems that take over the burdem of jailing our prisoners. Less clients, as they were, means less income. After lobbying for the position of holding prisioners for a fee instead of the state, the private penal system would be losing money. And who are the stockholders?
So to conclude, Make alcohol illegal! Ban booze! Call for a referendum and have alcohol prohibited in all 50 states!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Thoughts in Writing 7
Damned if you do, and damned if you don't! Ever know the feeling that nothing you do is good enough? Try to please one person, and piss off another. That is how it goes for me.
It comes down to the lack of or loss of interest in another. That simple. Taking the time to find out the likes and dislikes another has is not very difficult. It is, though, when the other person does not open up easily. Asking questions that do not seem offensive can somehow be misconstrued. Just spending time together is not enough. Some openness is needed on both parts.
Remembering the details is also very important. It doesn't come easily for me any longer. I have the condition CRS (Can'tRememberShit). Short term memory loss can lead one to a very peculiar spot.
I bring up a subject and get the "we heard that before" quote. But forget what was said and the angry comments begin. And to remind another that we (or I) have heard that before, then we have sparks.
Trying to open up to an unfamiliar person is quite a scary idea. Becoming vulnerable to a partner is something that should be done, and early on. The fear of rejection is imminent, so the approach is cautious. It is true that some things are better left unsaid. Watch enough crime shows on TV and see for yourself. Your past will catch up to you when you can't handle it properly. Explanations do not make the grade then. Openness early on would save all from the disaster that may follow. But it does not always end badly. Even the most cynical of people will eventually understand that reason prevailed in the hiding of facts.
Surrendering the locked up feelings and past issues will be more than some can do. And, it is something that some should do wisely. The past is the past, and if nothing can be done to change it or make it right then it ought to be left there. A confidant is the perfect person to leave it with.
Many of us do not trust others to keep secrets. It may come from a variety of reasons. But there are professional people who are ethically bound to remain silent about the details. And believe me, the relief is not comparable to anything you have known.
Making up for the past can be done in the present. It takes a little creative thinking but somehow, someway there are possible acts of kindness to be done. Just being there for another person having a bad time could make a difference.
But back to not feeling good enough. The effort is all that is required. We are only trying to ease a burden not change a circumstance. If relief is the end result, then something has been acomplished.
Listen and learn.
It comes down to the lack of or loss of interest in another. That simple. Taking the time to find out the likes and dislikes another has is not very difficult. It is, though, when the other person does not open up easily. Asking questions that do not seem offensive can somehow be misconstrued. Just spending time together is not enough. Some openness is needed on both parts.
Remembering the details is also very important. It doesn't come easily for me any longer. I have the condition CRS (Can'tRememberShit). Short term memory loss can lead one to a very peculiar spot.
I bring up a subject and get the "we heard that before" quote. But forget what was said and the angry comments begin. And to remind another that we (or I) have heard that before, then we have sparks.
Trying to open up to an unfamiliar person is quite a scary idea. Becoming vulnerable to a partner is something that should be done, and early on. The fear of rejection is imminent, so the approach is cautious. It is true that some things are better left unsaid. Watch enough crime shows on TV and see for yourself. Your past will catch up to you when you can't handle it properly. Explanations do not make the grade then. Openness early on would save all from the disaster that may follow. But it does not always end badly. Even the most cynical of people will eventually understand that reason prevailed in the hiding of facts.
Surrendering the locked up feelings and past issues will be more than some can do. And, it is something that some should do wisely. The past is the past, and if nothing can be done to change it or make it right then it ought to be left there. A confidant is the perfect person to leave it with.
Many of us do not trust others to keep secrets. It may come from a variety of reasons. But there are professional people who are ethically bound to remain silent about the details. And believe me, the relief is not comparable to anything you have known.
Making up for the past can be done in the present. It takes a little creative thinking but somehow, someway there are possible acts of kindness to be done. Just being there for another person having a bad time could make a difference.
But back to not feeling good enough. The effort is all that is required. We are only trying to ease a burden not change a circumstance. If relief is the end result, then something has been acomplished.
Listen and learn.
Thoughts in Writing 6
I find that today there seems to be an attitude among the youth that they deserve to get what they ask for. I myself seem to think that they believe this is an era of entitlement for them.
Growing up in the "old days", we did with what we had, and were grateful for what we got. It wasn't that my parents were strict or mean, just average middle class family.
I think that growing up during the war years it was tough to obtain things since rationing was in effect. For a few dollars more a person could get what he/she asked for. But at that time, wages were low and goods were scarce. A feeling of patriotism was throughout the country. Everybody suffered.
Today, we have a different point of view. Even though there is a war being fought, there are many that do not agree with it. It is nothing new, remembering Vietnam and the peace movement. Since those days, the country has had some very prosperous decades and the population as a whole has enjoyed prosperity to some extent. Of course there are those unfortunates who still do live in poverty.
Considering that one must have a job to get a better way of life it is a catch 22 when job seekers cannot get work to support their family. The public assistance programs also do not offer much help.
I do not mean to begin a discussion on immmigration and how jobs are being lost to unskilled workers who work for cash. Some of these day laborers are skilled, or have been trained to do what the employer wants done. After all, the U.S. did not send all of its work force around the world to build up cities from scratch.
I mean that a person making minimum wage is having a difficult time providing even the essentials. A student will accept this hoping that they will get the chance to earn after they finish school, but as I have pointed out, the student loans hold them back. It is an everyday situation to see the young people working to put a little extra in their pockets. And a good thing too.
But some of the young growing up today feel that they are entitled to get what they want when they want it. And the demands fall to the parents and relatives. It is not obvious to them that in order to give them something, then something else must be taken away. And in many cases it becomes the casual or relaxing dinners, movies, concerts, etc. that are missed. But the young get to go to their party or event with hardly more than a thank you, if even.
Discipline is lacking in many of these young and they do not want to be criticized over it. There is no such thing as self-denial for the good of the person, let alone the family. It is a matter of self-centered ness on their part. I have seen some very selfless acts of kindness performed by the youth with no asking of reward. But it appears that for every good deed there must be a good fortune to follow. It is not a conscious thing, but an expected one. And resentments can and do erupt when there is no positive reimbursement for the deed.
Living in the metropolis of a large city it is relatively easy to travel about using public transportation. But in the suburbs the only means of travel becomes the feet, a bicycle, or a car. And in order to drive a car, one must have a license and then register and insure the car. For young people the rates are very high. But young people have statistically shown to be poor drivers in the beginning. And accidents do happen. And repairs must be made. And a car does not run on water in the tank. It is a never ending situation that goes from bad to worse to getting better.
And these young people begin to understand that they need to have their own space to accomplish what they need or want. And the total package of rent, utilities, and food begin to weigh heavy on them. They must turn to someone for help. And the parents and relatives do understand. But the ones that compare their auto to the next kid whose parents are well off, and the ones that live in a rental in a low income area seem to have it in their heads that they should not be there. But again, it is the amount of money one earns that allows them to have luxuries, such as late model cars and co-ops.
It takes time for the youngsters to learn what their parents learned the hard way. And most do get to be grateful for it. It instills confidence, self worth and the desire to get ahead.
I have mostly great hope and thoughts for todays youth. But as always, there are some that leave me wondering if the future holds opportunity for advancement in financial and mental successes.
GOOD FORTUNE TO ALL.
Growing up in the "old days", we did with what we had, and were grateful for what we got. It wasn't that my parents were strict or mean, just average middle class family.
I think that growing up during the war years it was tough to obtain things since rationing was in effect. For a few dollars more a person could get what he/she asked for. But at that time, wages were low and goods were scarce. A feeling of patriotism was throughout the country. Everybody suffered.
Today, we have a different point of view. Even though there is a war being fought, there are many that do not agree with it. It is nothing new, remembering Vietnam and the peace movement. Since those days, the country has had some very prosperous decades and the population as a whole has enjoyed prosperity to some extent. Of course there are those unfortunates who still do live in poverty.
Considering that one must have a job to get a better way of life it is a catch 22 when job seekers cannot get work to support their family. The public assistance programs also do not offer much help.
I do not mean to begin a discussion on immmigration and how jobs are being lost to unskilled workers who work for cash. Some of these day laborers are skilled, or have been trained to do what the employer wants done. After all, the U.S. did not send all of its work force around the world to build up cities from scratch.
I mean that a person making minimum wage is having a difficult time providing even the essentials. A student will accept this hoping that they will get the chance to earn after they finish school, but as I have pointed out, the student loans hold them back. It is an everyday situation to see the young people working to put a little extra in their pockets. And a good thing too.
But some of the young growing up today feel that they are entitled to get what they want when they want it. And the demands fall to the parents and relatives. It is not obvious to them that in order to give them something, then something else must be taken away. And in many cases it becomes the casual or relaxing dinners, movies, concerts, etc. that are missed. But the young get to go to their party or event with hardly more than a thank you, if even.
Discipline is lacking in many of these young and they do not want to be criticized over it. There is no such thing as self-denial for the good of the person, let alone the family. It is a matter of self-centered ness on their part. I have seen some very selfless acts of kindness performed by the youth with no asking of reward. But it appears that for every good deed there must be a good fortune to follow. It is not a conscious thing, but an expected one. And resentments can and do erupt when there is no positive reimbursement for the deed.
Living in the metropolis of a large city it is relatively easy to travel about using public transportation. But in the suburbs the only means of travel becomes the feet, a bicycle, or a car. And in order to drive a car, one must have a license and then register and insure the car. For young people the rates are very high. But young people have statistically shown to be poor drivers in the beginning. And accidents do happen. And repairs must be made. And a car does not run on water in the tank. It is a never ending situation that goes from bad to worse to getting better.
And these young people begin to understand that they need to have their own space to accomplish what they need or want. And the total package of rent, utilities, and food begin to weigh heavy on them. They must turn to someone for help. And the parents and relatives do understand. But the ones that compare their auto to the next kid whose parents are well off, and the ones that live in a rental in a low income area seem to have it in their heads that they should not be there. But again, it is the amount of money one earns that allows them to have luxuries, such as late model cars and co-ops.
It takes time for the youngsters to learn what their parents learned the hard way. And most do get to be grateful for it. It instills confidence, self worth and the desire to get ahead.
I have mostly great hope and thoughts for todays youth. But as always, there are some that leave me wondering if the future holds opportunity for advancement in financial and mental successes.
GOOD FORTUNE TO ALL.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Thoughts in Writing 5
I am appalled at the most recent lack of action by our congress. It definitely fits the bill, the name, although regress would also be appropriate.
It has been allowed that the interest rate for college loans for students has doubled. The young men and women, include some old timers too, have a hard enough time to pay for their tuition as it is. And in New Jersey, they want to allow illegal immigrants to go to school and pay in state tuition because they reside here.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. They are here illegally. Their residence is in a foreign country. What do they not understand? I am not against them learning, but one of the features of the allowance is for the alien to say that they will apply for legal status, not have it at the time.
Now, if a judge were to say to me: If you promise to get your license, I will let you leave and allow you to purchase and own an auto. Of course I would say yes. And continue to drive without a license as long as I am able. When I am not legally allowed to, I would revert to the most inconspicuous means of travel. Mass transit does not cover all the roads and towns.
The banks get their money from the main treasury at little interest at this time, less than 1%. And now they have doubled their profits with no legal challenge to speak of. Topping that off, how about the interest rates for credit cards? Does anyone mind paying 20% for the privilege of using a card that adds interest and penalties together?
Keeping the public in deep debt allows the people who run the government to profit and not have to use a gun to empty our pockets. And I do not mean the elected officials. We are led to believe that the men and women we elect are in our best interests. Ask them to do something, and see how long it takes. But the people behind the scenes just say do it, and it will be done. I am not against some form of favoritism, as long as it is spread equally among us. But giving banks, etc. the opportunity to rip our pockets out of our pants and purses is not the same as giving the whole nation a credit which comes to $20 a week, for example. How much does anyone think that a tax break will return to our pocket? And then, that too is taxed.
Since the preamble says that all men are created equal why do the rich get special favors. As far as taxing goes, the income tax was brought about to fund the War Between the States. It has continued to do so. We have not had more than two generations pass without some conflict we must pursue and fund. So I again ask for a fair tax, the flat rate tax. Make it 17% as it was proposed. We will have a surplus in a generation. Except for the government covert operations funding in the "Islands", go out and tax the money in foreign accounts at a high interest rate for trying to fraudulently hide income. Our flat tax makes us all on the same level. The public get relief and the wealthy get to contribute a fair share.
And while we are at it, make the Social Security system free from outside manipulation. Johnson allowed the fund to be put into the general fund when the Vietnam War was going on. If the money was invested properly without the removal of funds for special purposes, the interest alone would carry itself without worry. In New Jersey, Whitman raided the public employees pension fund for $8 billion. It was not repaid and still is a large influence in the daily lives of New Jersey residents.
I have said my peace. Right or wrong I am permitted to. It's up to others to do the same.
It has been allowed that the interest rate for college loans for students has doubled. The young men and women, include some old timers too, have a hard enough time to pay for their tuition as it is. And in New Jersey, they want to allow illegal immigrants to go to school and pay in state tuition because they reside here.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. They are here illegally. Their residence is in a foreign country. What do they not understand? I am not against them learning, but one of the features of the allowance is for the alien to say that they will apply for legal status, not have it at the time.
Now, if a judge were to say to me: If you promise to get your license, I will let you leave and allow you to purchase and own an auto. Of course I would say yes. And continue to drive without a license as long as I am able. When I am not legally allowed to, I would revert to the most inconspicuous means of travel. Mass transit does not cover all the roads and towns.
The banks get their money from the main treasury at little interest at this time, less than 1%. And now they have doubled their profits with no legal challenge to speak of. Topping that off, how about the interest rates for credit cards? Does anyone mind paying 20% for the privilege of using a card that adds interest and penalties together?
Keeping the public in deep debt allows the people who run the government to profit and not have to use a gun to empty our pockets. And I do not mean the elected officials. We are led to believe that the men and women we elect are in our best interests. Ask them to do something, and see how long it takes. But the people behind the scenes just say do it, and it will be done. I am not against some form of favoritism, as long as it is spread equally among us. But giving banks, etc. the opportunity to rip our pockets out of our pants and purses is not the same as giving the whole nation a credit which comes to $20 a week, for example. How much does anyone think that a tax break will return to our pocket? And then, that too is taxed.
Since the preamble says that all men are created equal why do the rich get special favors. As far as taxing goes, the income tax was brought about to fund the War Between the States. It has continued to do so. We have not had more than two generations pass without some conflict we must pursue and fund. So I again ask for a fair tax, the flat rate tax. Make it 17% as it was proposed. We will have a surplus in a generation. Except for the government covert operations funding in the "Islands", go out and tax the money in foreign accounts at a high interest rate for trying to fraudulently hide income. Our flat tax makes us all on the same level. The public get relief and the wealthy get to contribute a fair share.
And while we are at it, make the Social Security system free from outside manipulation. Johnson allowed the fund to be put into the general fund when the Vietnam War was going on. If the money was invested properly without the removal of funds for special purposes, the interest alone would carry itself without worry. In New Jersey, Whitman raided the public employees pension fund for $8 billion. It was not repaid and still is a large influence in the daily lives of New Jersey residents.
I have said my peace. Right or wrong I am permitted to. It's up to others to do the same.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Thoughts in Writing 4
I am writing to express my opinion on the current debate over the de-criminalization of marijuana and its possibility of becoming legal, as opposed to the continued consumer access to alcohol in its many forms.
Alcohol has been my first love and it eventually turned on me. I drank when I could get a phony draft card and then found a bar that would serve me. I was the "go to" guy for beer, wine, and booze. It made me feel important. I drank as often as I could afford it. Before I was in the work force, I had means and opportunity.
Later I became a "pothead" and ate "gorilla biscuits" (or pills) and the effect was pleasing and also destructful. I would mix combinations to escape the emotional imbalance which caused me much grief. I had demons which haunted me continuously, and I could not-no, would not, reveal them to anyone. The desired effect from the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs gave me release from the demons haunting me, only to return later.
Alcohol for me was my all time companion. I could buy it at any store and it was legal unless it involved public intoxication or some illegal activity.
Drugs were the ultimate escape. It gave me the potential to be a victim of an overdose and a receptor of sympathetic grieving. But, alas, I was given mouth to mouth by my fellow addicts and resuscitated more times than I can count. (I should have given some of those guys an engagement ring for the many times they saved me by mouth to mouth).
To compare the drinking to using prescription and street drugs, I would like to offer this analogy.
Drinking has been my main source of pleasure. It allowed me entrance to bars, clubs, and other establishments where I could meet and greet the opposite sex, dance and have fun. There were times, unfortunately, when I drank too much and went home with a six pack and depressed.
Drinking is to me what cocaine is to me. I have a bottle which I have started and intend to save part of for later, tomorrow, when ever. But knowing it is there, it attracts me like no other lover. I cannot resist having just a little bit more. But each time I reach for it, the time has grown shorter and shorter. I eventually have no alcohol left and need to get to a bar and run a tab or get to a bootlegger.
I did enjoy cocaine, but it had the same effect on me as alcohol. I would buy a piece to deal back home, but after trying it out, I ended up with an empty pocket and no coke. I was greedy and at the same time needy. I had to have more. It not only satisfied me, but it gave me escape like no other.
Heroin, on the other hand, was my next to perfect drug of choice. Once I had it, I could nod or settle down and get the thoughts which haunted me under control. Unfortunately, my employers had no intentions to have a drug addict remain on the payroll. I went to counseling and to detox and rehab. It did eventually get me clean.
In between the alcohol and cocaine, came the speed and LSD. I was dealing speed and making a profit which went to other means of destruction. The speed eventually wore off and I was back to my self again.
But the acid! I loved to trip and had a few of my 100+ trips become problematic. I would see things or people I did not want to see. But friends could help me through it. We were having too good a time partying and enjoying ourselves. Only one time I took STP, a drug lasting more than LSD, and I did up methadrine sulfate. It wasn't the crystal I thought. And I went on a three day trip which eventually came down after meeting friends at a crash pad and smoking reefer.
I also tried DMT. It was fantastic for the half hour or so it lasted. It was like an LSD trip on short term. But it also caused me to lose connection with reality and find myself lost.
I can only say that the days of old have gone and the reality of today is present. I find that if we are able to have access to legal marijuana, then it can be no more than the worst of alcohol. But I am sure that the reason that it is being debated is that: 1. The government does not have a plan to license the distributors; 2. The government has pressure to keep the age of obtaining weed to 21+ and where it is to be sold; 3. the law enforcement people do not have any way to determine if a person is under the influence. After all, THC remains in the blood stream for about three (3) months if a regular user.
But we must also consider the potential for abuse of pharmaceuticals. Doctors give to us many different forms of pills to make us feel better or take away the aches and pains. I am not saying that the pain is imaginary or conceived to gain a prescription for medication. But after having been prescribed these pain killers, many are forced to look to other doctors or sources for relief. Is this an answer to the problem of pain and pills?
The use of marijuana can be regulate the same as prescription drugs can, possibly easier. After all, only one product is being monitored as opposed to many different types of medications. But the stigma remains that marijuana is the gateway drug. But in reality, the prescribed medications from doctors are really the gateway. What is one to do when the script is now empty and the date of renewal is days or weeks away?
Having said that, I can say myself that the effect of marijuana on my system could be more easily monitored or regulated as opposed to the ingestion of pharmacy or other drugs. For those who experience no pain or need to rely on pharmaceutical drugs to alleviate the pain, may you always have a healthy life. But for us who are in pain due to accidents from cars or work injuries, I hope that there is an answer.
As I said once again: Please discuss this with one who is experiencing the pain and humiliation at times of having to have a script refilled again and again.
Thank you.
Alcohol has been my first love and it eventually turned on me. I drank when I could get a phony draft card and then found a bar that would serve me. I was the "go to" guy for beer, wine, and booze. It made me feel important. I drank as often as I could afford it. Before I was in the work force, I had means and opportunity.
Later I became a "pothead" and ate "gorilla biscuits" (or pills) and the effect was pleasing and also destructful. I would mix combinations to escape the emotional imbalance which caused me much grief. I had demons which haunted me continuously, and I could not-no, would not, reveal them to anyone. The desired effect from the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs gave me release from the demons haunting me, only to return later.
Alcohol for me was my all time companion. I could buy it at any store and it was legal unless it involved public intoxication or some illegal activity.
Drugs were the ultimate escape. It gave me the potential to be a victim of an overdose and a receptor of sympathetic grieving. But, alas, I was given mouth to mouth by my fellow addicts and resuscitated more times than I can count. (I should have given some of those guys an engagement ring for the many times they saved me by mouth to mouth).
To compare the drinking to using prescription and street drugs, I would like to offer this analogy.
Drinking has been my main source of pleasure. It allowed me entrance to bars, clubs, and other establishments where I could meet and greet the opposite sex, dance and have fun. There were times, unfortunately, when I drank too much and went home with a six pack and depressed.
Drinking is to me what cocaine is to me. I have a bottle which I have started and intend to save part of for later, tomorrow, when ever. But knowing it is there, it attracts me like no other lover. I cannot resist having just a little bit more. But each time I reach for it, the time has grown shorter and shorter. I eventually have no alcohol left and need to get to a bar and run a tab or get to a bootlegger.
I did enjoy cocaine, but it had the same effect on me as alcohol. I would buy a piece to deal back home, but after trying it out, I ended up with an empty pocket and no coke. I was greedy and at the same time needy. I had to have more. It not only satisfied me, but it gave me escape like no other.
Heroin, on the other hand, was my next to perfect drug of choice. Once I had it, I could nod or settle down and get the thoughts which haunted me under control. Unfortunately, my employers had no intentions to have a drug addict remain on the payroll. I went to counseling and to detox and rehab. It did eventually get me clean.
In between the alcohol and cocaine, came the speed and LSD. I was dealing speed and making a profit which went to other means of destruction. The speed eventually wore off and I was back to my self again.
But the acid! I loved to trip and had a few of my 100+ trips become problematic. I would see things or people I did not want to see. But friends could help me through it. We were having too good a time partying and enjoying ourselves. Only one time I took STP, a drug lasting more than LSD, and I did up methadrine sulfate. It wasn't the crystal I thought. And I went on a three day trip which eventually came down after meeting friends at a crash pad and smoking reefer.
I also tried DMT. It was fantastic for the half hour or so it lasted. It was like an LSD trip on short term. But it also caused me to lose connection with reality and find myself lost.
I can only say that the days of old have gone and the reality of today is present. I find that if we are able to have access to legal marijuana, then it can be no more than the worst of alcohol. But I am sure that the reason that it is being debated is that: 1. The government does not have a plan to license the distributors; 2. The government has pressure to keep the age of obtaining weed to 21+ and where it is to be sold; 3. the law enforcement people do not have any way to determine if a person is under the influence. After all, THC remains in the blood stream for about three (3) months if a regular user.
But we must also consider the potential for abuse of pharmaceuticals. Doctors give to us many different forms of pills to make us feel better or take away the aches and pains. I am not saying that the pain is imaginary or conceived to gain a prescription for medication. But after having been prescribed these pain killers, many are forced to look to other doctors or sources for relief. Is this an answer to the problem of pain and pills?
The use of marijuana can be regulate the same as prescription drugs can, possibly easier. After all, only one product is being monitored as opposed to many different types of medications. But the stigma remains that marijuana is the gateway drug. But in reality, the prescribed medications from doctors are really the gateway. What is one to do when the script is now empty and the date of renewal is days or weeks away?
Having said that, I can say myself that the effect of marijuana on my system could be more easily monitored or regulated as opposed to the ingestion of pharmacy or other drugs. For those who experience no pain or need to rely on pharmaceutical drugs to alleviate the pain, may you always have a healthy life. But for us who are in pain due to accidents from cars or work injuries, I hope that there is an answer.
As I said once again: Please discuss this with one who is experiencing the pain and humiliation at times of having to have a script refilled again and again.
Thank you.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Thoughts in Writing 3
As with any political party, there is a machine that runs in the background. It turns out its campaign workers and volunteers en masse to help win control. This "machine" is the selfish minds and black hearts of men and women who desire nothing more than power and fame. These are also known as party bosses.
To be favored by a party boss is wanted by any and all who desire a seat in government. Any seat, any where. But the hopes do not stop at the local or state level. These people change from time to time, but the survivors will be always looking ahead to more and more.
We see the examples which have been in our past and present. Politicians who seek favor of the reigning tycoons with tight purse strings and a personal agenda are at their beck and call. It is they who receive the highest tax breaks or business incentives. While they may be responsible for the lively hoods of many dozens, even hundreds, of employees, they themselves are in a class by themselves. They do not care about the simple way of life we live. Their concern is how much money can I make and how little of it do I have to pay out.
My idea of evening up the playing field is not radical. It has been recommended several times, and by people much more wealthier and wiser than I. It is that we should all pay one flat tax rate. Every person pays the same rate, no matter what the income. If that does not coincide with all men are created equal, then I cannot understand the meaning of the term. No deductions, no loopholes, no excuses. The same would apply to corporations and small businesses.
Not in my lifetime!
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