Thoughts in Writing 7

Damned if you do, and damned if you don't! Ever know the feeling that nothing you do is good enough? Try to please one person, and piss off another. That is how it goes for me.
It comes down to the lack of or loss of interest in another. That simple. Taking the time to find out the likes and dislikes another has is not very difficult. It is, though, when the other person does not open up easily. Asking questions that do not seem offensive can somehow be misconstrued. Just spending time together is not enough. Some openness is needed on both parts.
Remembering the details is also very important. It doesn't come easily for me any longer. I have the condition CRS (Can'tRememberShit). Short term memory loss can lead one to a very peculiar spot.
I bring up a subject and get the "we heard that before" quote. But forget what was said and the angry comments begin. And to remind another that we (or I) have heard that before, then we have sparks.
Trying to open up to an unfamiliar person is quite a scary idea. Becoming vulnerable to a partner is something that should be done, and early on. The fear of rejection is imminent, so the approach is cautious. It is true that some things are better left unsaid. Watch enough crime shows on TV and see for yourself. Your past will catch up to you when you can't handle it properly. Explanations do not make the grade then. Openness early on would save all from the disaster that may follow. But it does not always end badly. Even the most cynical of people will eventually understand that reason prevailed in the hiding of facts.
Surrendering the locked up feelings and past issues will be more than some can do. And, it is something that some should do wisely. The past is the past, and if nothing can be done to change it or make it right then it ought to be left there. A confidant is the perfect person to leave it with.
Many of us do not trust others to keep secrets. It may come from a variety of reasons. But there are professional people who are ethically bound to remain silent about the details. And believe me, the relief is not comparable to anything you have known.
Making up for the past can be done in the present. It takes a little creative thinking but somehow, someway there are possible acts of kindness to be done. Just being there for another person having a bad time could make a difference.
But back to not feeling good enough. The effort is all that is required. We are only trying to ease a burden not change a circumstance. If relief is the end result, then something has been acomplished.
Listen and learn.